= google8f5ee720693b5c31.html> PhatFlix

Friday, September 8, 2017

Marvel's INHUMANS lives up to it's Rotten Tomato rating

by James Avatar

8/9/17 - New York City
Let's get something straight...when someone tells me about a film's rating from the movie review website ROTTEN TOMATOES, I am suddenly overwhelmed by an urge not to care.

I try to convince myself that I shouldn't let someone else's opinion color my own. But after viewing Episode 1 and 2 of Disney's new Fall TV show called "MARVEL'S INHUMANS",  I must admit that a RT rating of ZERO hits the nail on the head.

It was filmed with IMAX cameras and was shown in IMAX theaters all over the country. So what? A gorilla in a pretty dress is still a friggin' gorilla. All that gorgeous cinematography wasted on bad editing, bad costuming and CGI effects that look like something you would see on SYFY.

This was, by far, the worst Marvel Production ever produced. Yes, worst than "Daredevil" (2003). Yes, worst than "Electra" (2005). Yes , even...worst than "Howard The Duck" (1986) which was nominated for 7 "Razzie" awards.

The story centers around a Royal Family who reigns over a secret kingdom on the moon. This is where you giggle under your breath....actually..go ahead and LOL. I did. Thank goodness  was the only one in the IMAX theater.

The king, Black Bolt (Anson Mount), is a mute (not one word throughout, just eyebrows working overtime) and the queen is Medusa, (Serinda Swan) not the evil snake-headed sorceress we've come to hiss at,  but instead...a tall, busty woman in a very daring dress with a really awful head of animated red hair.

The people of the kingdom subject their children to a coming-of-age initiation involving inhaling gas in glass chambers, produced by blue minerals (terragen crystals explained on MARVEL'S AGENT OF SHEILD, a desperate attempt to annex the series). Children who emerge with super powers gets promoted to high society, the unaffected end up as slaves in the mines (what they are mining is one of the details that are never explained clearly.) Wait. I'm supposed to root for the royals & this F'd-up kingdom? Whut'choo'talkin'bout'Willis?

Of course, the king's "unaffected" brother (Iwan Rheon, in full "Game-Of-thrones-bad-boy" mode) lusts after the queen and plots to overthrow the kingdom, after delivering a badly written speech.

The royal family escape by way of the trusty royal pet, a giant bulldog named LOCKJAW, who
teleports them to earth. Apparently, there is only one pet in the kingdom and he has superpowers. This is where you LOL again. #ISpitMyPopcornLaughing

I wish i were at the pitch meeting between Marvel, Disney and IMAX for this film. I could have told them that this was one of the stupidest ideas ever and they would have to incorporate a lot more of the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) in order to make up for the lack of quality production that Marvel fans are used to.

Hopefully, the upcoming THOR:RAGNAROK, BLACK PANTHER and INFINITY WAR pt.1 films will put a band-aid on the boo-boo left by this film.

Ticket Worth: $.50
Stream?: Only if it's free
Buy?: NO - trade it for a copy of Howard The Duck

Friday, July 15, 2016

Be Afraid Of This Remake: "GHOSTBUSTERS" disappoints

The 1984 comedy classic GHOSTBUSTERS, starring Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd and Sigorney Weaver, (directed by Ivan Reitman) is one of Hollywood's greatest movies. It flawlessly blended two genres (horror and comedy), showcased the bawdy humor of then-not-ready-for-prime-time SNL Alum Murray, managed to be family-friendly and had a fun, catchy theme song (back when movies had them).

But, alas, the hollywood disease of remaking, re-branding and re-marketing a timeless classic into a humorless, bland vehicle for fart jokes and product placement infects the 2016 installment of this once-revered franchise.

Director Paul Feig of 2011's "Bridesmaids" (and half it's cast) seem to improv their way through this script-less CGI-fest, wasting the talents of  Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon.

Don't worry, there are no spoilers here. There's really nothing to speak of. The story (horribly re-worked for 4 women) takes too long to start. The jokes are few, leaving the stars to rely on their instincts to try to milk laughs out a dry screenplay.

Fans of an "R"-rated "Bridesmaids" will probably cringe at the PG-13 restraints on the edgy, comedic genius of Wiig and McCarthy. Wouldn't be surprised if an "R"-rated version is soon to follow. (See "Batman vs Superman; Dawn Of Justice")

"WTF?" cameos from members of the original cast are embarrassing, unnecessary and uncomfortable to watch for fans of the original film.

Not as good as anything released this summer. This will be playing on your kid's iPad in 3 months in the back seat of your S.U.V. after they get bored of Pokemon Go!.


STREAM IT? : Free, yes / Pay-per-view, NO!

BUY DVD? : If you have kids, you will probably have to.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

"CHI-RAQ", the new SPIKE LEE JOINT, zooms in on Chicago violence.

"CHI-RAQ", the new film by Spike Lee centers on male gang violence within the neighborhoods of Chicago. 40 Acres, Roadside Attractions and Lionsgate are teaming up with Amazon to release the film in a limited release on Dec. 4, followed by a release on Amazon Instant Video.

The (soon-to-be) controversial film stars SAMUEL L. JACKSON, TEYONAH PARIS, WESLEY SNIPES, NICK CANNON, JOHN CUSACK, JENNIFER HUDSON and a bunch a cameos.

The film is based on a Greek comedy "Lysistrata" by Aristophanes. The story involves the women of Chicago who defiantly deny intimate relations until neighborhood gang violence ceases. Watch the trailer below.

CHI-RAQ Trailer from 40 Acres and a Mule Filmworks on Vimeo.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Finally! A super hero for grown ups! Enter: DEADPOOL

On the heels of the successful and ultra-violent Marvel series"Daredevil" (on Netflix) comes "DEADPOOL", one of the more mature stories in the MCU.

Former DC Comic Superhero and M.I.L.F. heartthrob RYAN REYNOLDS is a good choice to play the smarmy, potty-mouthed assassin with super healing abilities.

The RED BAND TRAILER below seems to be an indication that the creators will stay dedicated to the raucous debauchery and mayhem which ensues throughout the story. (release date 2/12/16).

Deadpool | Red Band Trailer : Based upon Marvel Comics’ most unconventional anti-hero, DEADPOOL tells the origin story of former Special Forces operative turned mercenary Wade Wilson, who after being subjected to a rogue experiment that leaves him with accelerated healing powers, adopts the alter ego Deadpool. Armed with his new abilities and a dark, twisted sense of humor, Deadpool hunts down the man who nearly destroyed his life.

Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, Ed Skrein, T.J. Miller, Gina Carano, Brianna Hildebrand