Wednesday, November 29, 2017
Friday, September 8, 2017
Marvel's INHUMANS lives up to it's Rotten Tomato rating
by James Avatar
8/9/17 - New York City
Let's get something straight...when someone tells me about a film's rating from the movie review website ROTTEN TOMATOES, I am suddenly overwhelmed by an urge not to care.
I try to convince myself that I shouldn't let someone else's opinion color my own. But after viewing Episode 1 and 2 of Disney's new Fall TV show called "MARVEL'S INHUMANS", I must admit that a RT rating of ZERO hits the nail on the head.
It was filmed with IMAX cameras and was shown in IMAX theaters all over the country. So what? A gorilla in a pretty dress is still a friggin' gorilla. All that gorgeous cinematography wasted on bad editing, bad costuming and CGI effects that look like something you would see on SYFY.
This was, by far, the worst Marvel Production ever produced. Yes, worst than "Daredevil" (2003). Yes, worst than "Electra" (2005). Yes , even...worst than "Howard The Duck" (1986) which was nominated for 7 "Razzie" awards.
The story centers around a Royal Family who reigns over a secret kingdom on the moon. This is where you giggle under your breath....actually..go ahead and LOL. I did. Thank goodness was the only one in the IMAX theater.
The king, Black Bolt (Anson Mount), is a mute (not one word throughout, just eyebrows working overtime) and the queen is Medusa, (Serinda Swan) not the evil snake-headed sorceress we've come to hiss at, but instead...a tall, busty woman in a very daring dress with a really awful head of animated red hair.
The people of the kingdom subject their children to a coming-of-age initiation involving inhaling gas in glass chambers, produced by blue minerals (terragen crystals explained on MARVEL'S AGENT OF SHEILD, a desperate attempt to annex the series). Children who emerge with super powers gets promoted to high society, the unaffected end up as slaves in the mines (what they are mining is one of the details that are never explained clearly.) Wait. I'm supposed to root for the royals & this F'd-up kingdom? Whut'choo'talkin'bout'Willis?
Of course, the king's "unaffected" brother (Iwan Rheon, in full "Game-Of-thrones-bad-boy" mode) lusts after the queen and plots to overthrow the kingdom, after delivering a badly written speech.
The royal family escape by way of the trusty royal pet, a giant bulldog named LOCKJAW, who
teleports them to earth. Apparently, there is only one pet in the kingdom and he has superpowers. This is where you LOL again. #ISpitMyPopcornLaughing
I wish i were at the pitch meeting between Marvel, Disney and IMAX for this film. I could have told them that this was one of the stupidest ideas ever and they would have to incorporate a lot more of the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) in order to make up for the lack of quality production that Marvel fans are used to.
Hopefully, the upcoming THOR:RAGNAROK, BLACK PANTHER and INFINITY WAR pt.1 films will put a band-aid on the boo-boo left by this film.
Ticket Worth: $.50
Stream?: Only if it's free
Buy?: NO - trade it for a copy of Howard The Duck
8/9/17 - New York City
Let's get something straight...when someone tells me about a film's rating from the movie review website ROTTEN TOMATOES, I am suddenly overwhelmed by an urge not to care.
I try to convince myself that I shouldn't let someone else's opinion color my own. But after viewing Episode 1 and 2 of Disney's new Fall TV show called "MARVEL'S INHUMANS", I must admit that a RT rating of ZERO hits the nail on the head.
It was filmed with IMAX cameras and was shown in IMAX theaters all over the country. So what? A gorilla in a pretty dress is still a friggin' gorilla. All that gorgeous cinematography wasted on bad editing, bad costuming and CGI effects that look like something you would see on SYFY.
This was, by far, the worst Marvel Production ever produced. Yes, worst than "Daredevil" (2003). Yes, worst than "Electra" (2005). Yes , even...worst than "Howard The Duck" (1986) which was nominated for 7 "Razzie" awards.
The king, Black Bolt (Anson Mount), is a mute (not one word throughout, just eyebrows working overtime) and the queen is Medusa, (Serinda Swan) not the evil snake-headed sorceress we've come to hiss at, but instead...a tall, busty woman in a very daring dress with a really awful head of animated red hair.
The people of the kingdom subject their children to a coming-of-age initiation involving inhaling gas in glass chambers, produced by blue minerals (terragen crystals explained on MARVEL'S AGENT OF SHEILD, a desperate attempt to annex the series). Children who emerge with super powers gets promoted to high society, the unaffected end up as slaves in the mines (what they are mining is one of the details that are never explained clearly.) Wait. I'm supposed to root for the royals & this F'd-up kingdom? Whut'choo'talkin'bout'Willis?
Of course, the king's "unaffected" brother (Iwan Rheon, in full "Game-Of-thrones-bad-boy" mode) lusts after the queen and plots to overthrow the kingdom, after delivering a badly written speech.
teleports them to earth. Apparently, there is only one pet in the kingdom and he has superpowers. This is where you LOL again. #ISpitMyPopcornLaughing
I wish i were at the pitch meeting between Marvel, Disney and IMAX for this film. I could have told them that this was one of the stupidest ideas ever and they would have to incorporate a lot more of the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) in order to make up for the lack of quality production that Marvel fans are used to.
Hopefully, the upcoming THOR:RAGNAROK, BLACK PANTHER and INFINITY WAR pt.1 films will put a band-aid on the boo-boo left by this film.
Ticket Worth: $.50
Stream?: Only if it's free
Buy?: NO - trade it for a copy of Howard The Duck
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